1. Actually knows where the earphone for the scanner is.
2. Has taped to his wall anything scanner-related (frequency charts, etc) that
3. Has more than one scanner clipped to his belt at any given time.
4. Actually clips a scanner to his belt in the first place.
5. One scanner...multiple speakers throughout the house.
6. Considered location for antennas before buying a house. (Does not apply to
hams who like scanners too.)
7. Has belt clip on handle of lawnmower.
8. Has ALL channels programmed in a 100 channel+ scanner...(and locks NONE of
them out..."Wouldn't wanna miss nuthin'.")
9. Makes certain the power and antenna leads reach his bed.
10. 2 words: Mag Mount!
11. General physical condition: white male, 14 to 44 years of age, 5 feet 8
inches, 200 to 268 pounds, wears wide-rimmed glasses, wears
horizontally-striped shirts, wears beige "Dockers" EVERYWHERE!, has pocket
protector, carries extra NiCads in it, shows black socks because "Dockers" are
high-water style, wears black sneakers EVERYWHERE, has bad post-nasal drip and
no tissues, lives at home with parents (at 14...ok, at 44...has big "L"
tattooed on forehead), has bad case of bed-head with scanner imprint reversed
on cheek (*** cheek, hopefully).
12. Keeps last years "Police Call" just incase this years has a mistake.
13. Has more than one new issue of "Police Call".(One for the house, one for
14. Has and proudly wears a windbreaker with a "REACT" logo on it, but has no
affiliation with the organization.
15. Knows the Police, Fire and EMS 10-codes or Q-Signals for more than 3
16. Gets upset when the local news crew that he knows filmed him at the
emergency scene pretending to talk into his scanner cuts out the portion he was
in on their evening broadcast because of some damned war somewhere."Geeeez,
17. Subscribes to a pager service to beep him and tell him when to turn on his
scanner (that he leaves on anyway, but the pager looks really cool!)
18. Has no career (maybe a job, but no career). Keeps waiting for the local
Police Department/Fire Department to hire him.
19. Hangs-out at the local Fire Station and talks the talk with the
firefighters who are secretly hope something, anything would catch fire so they
can gracefully exit the station without hurting "Scanner Dweebs" feelings.
20. Has no wife or girlfriend but is ok with that because he's still looking
for the right woman and like his life just as it is right now.
21. Brings scanner, frequency charts, wall wart, extra batteries, belt clip and
ear phones on a Caribbean cruise vacation.
22. Considers bringing on to and plans verbal interaction with a flight
attendant who asks him to not use his scanner aboard an aircraft on the way to
the port from where his cruise ship departs.
23. Spends nearly a half an hour thinking up and typing onto an InterNet
NewsGroup 23 items that make someone a "Scanner Dweeb"
(Scanner Dweeb also owns a decent collection of dusty rarely-used and rusting
excercize equipment...but I'll leave that to Paul Harvey for "The Rest of The
With my tongue planted firmly within my cheek, not wishing to upset anyone,
73 10-4 Roger QSL Copy That OVER