Lloyd Davies - THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A 30-YEAROLD VIRGIN: 02/19/04

Lloyd Davies - THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A 30-YEAROLD VIRGIN: 02/19/04

Post by Anonymous Sende » Sat, 21 Feb 2004 08:48:40

Diary 02/19/04 by Lloyd Davies
I didn't get much sleep last night because I stupidly drank a whole pot of coffee late in the evening. I tripped over my phone on the way to lay in my ***, cumstained bed last night. I was so mad! I wanted to throw things and stamp my feet and pound my fists onto my cheap computer desk. I staggered into the bathroom this morning. Whoa! My reflection scared me out of my wits! No wonder I don't know any babes! My caffeine-induced insomnia gave me ample time to reflect on my 30 years as a ***. Yep, 30 years and no babes. It is as if I have been living in my closet all this time. Just me and my coat hangers. I hate going to Nim Busters, it reminds me of my pathetic, existence! Fortunately, my monk interview comes up later this week. I doubt I will meet any babes by then, eh? That phone thing still haunts me. I am apprehensive knowing full well that I was only a step away from ***. And, for what? All because I tripped over the phone lying on the floor in the middle of t
 he room and almost cut my modem connection. I unplugged the phone. I don't even understand why I have a phone. I can't even remember the last time I had a phone call. Why do I have an answering machine? The tape is still like new. I wonder if it even works. Who would call me? I don't know anyone. I am invisible. I really am surprised that the Roach Motel management did not rent this place from under me. After all, I am invisible. There are times that I begin to wonder if I really exist or if I am somebody's bad dream. Maybe I am some computer geek's artificial intelligence project gone awry. Who's to say? I had another pot of coffee again this evening, so I have many more hours to reflect on many more things. Oh boy. Well, there are always advantages to not knowing babes. For one thing, I am not going to be doing the wild thing, so I will not be losing my ***ity. This is a real plus when it comes to being a monk. I just hope I am not rejected by them. Can you imagine bein
 g rejected from becoming a monk?